birthdays.

and I'm greeting myself for I have survived 18 years of existence in this mad world.

wow. ang saya talaga. iba ang level ng euphoria ko ngayon.

tapos wala pang tumatayo sa kama para hulihin ang magaling nilang bunso na nasa harap na naman ng computer.

oi blogspot!

me is missin' u! Sensya na matagal taung hndi nagkita.
Since aug. 26 pa pala. Wag ka mag-alala. Mula ngayon, hndi na kita pb2yaan.

things were better than they are.

ahahaha. hindi lang talaga ako makamove-on kahapon. parang iba ang direksyon ng utak ko.
teka. nagbago na ba pamantayan ko sa boys? bakit may braces na ata ang nagpapakawala sa eternal heartbeat ko.
oh well. sabi nga ni mark.
"ganyan talaga mga gusto ni bonbon, eh. mga kakaiba. pero magaling."

ahahaha. tignan mo na lang si r, eh. hindi ba kakaiba yun?
dakilang masungit lang sya. kaya hanggang ngayon kahit friendship na lang habol ko. parang feeling ko 'still swooning' pa rin.
pero wala na talaga. kung sya.

si L--? ayun. crush.
"and I can't get you out of my dreams.."
shocks! isang araw pa lang...!!

eyesore.

forget me not.
those weren't your words.


yun lang naalala ko shizz..

magiging parte ka na ng buhay ko.
ano? hindi mo pa ramdam? how come..
sige. ipaparamdam ko sa yo..
ano? hindi mo ako kilala?
sige. papakilala muna ako.


hi. L--. I'm Ella.

*kabog, mehn.

o hi.

mapapatawad mo rin ako.
masyado lang kasi akong pinaglalaruan ng taong yun kaya hindi kita mabigyan ng oras ngayon.

sorry. not now. I won't be able to see you in the meantime.
I got a mountain-load of things to do. and a lot of experiences to learn from.

*emo-emo kasi matagal akong hindi nakapag-blogger.

Painting Flowers.

Dear All-Time Low.
dumaan ang Dear Maria, Count Me In. ang cover ng Umbrella, ang Stay Awake, ang Cover ng Alejandro na talagang tinilian ko ng bongga.
pero shocks, nakahanap na ata ako ng katapat.

lyrics here:

Strange maze, what is this place?
I hear voices over my shoulders.
Nothings making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
And every day were running in circles.
Such a funny way to fall.
Try to open up my eyes
Im hopin for the chance to make it alright.

When I wake up
The dream isnt done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
Woah

Throw my cards, give you my heart.
Wish we could start all over.
Nothing's making sense at all.
Try to open up my eyes,
Im hopin for a chance to make it alright.


When I wake up
The dream isnt done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.

(I heard everything you said. I dont wanna lose my head.)

When I wake up
The dream isnt done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.

nervous breakdown..

I'm so over being sick
I'm so sick of this relationship
Go get a doctor and an ambulance
I need your kiss it's the medicine
It get's me moving going back and forth
Everybody grab a map and help me chart the course
I brought a compass it's reading north
It doesn't really matter if it's back and forth

I thought that I should tell you (Whoa)
My world is crashing down, again
I'm spinning round calling out "I'm falling down"
I'm spinning round calling out "I'm falling I'm falling"
And I don't care, I don't care what you think of me right now
Cause I'm gonna have a breakdown

My only choice is to over react
Is this a voice or just a panic attack?
I need a doctor to help me try to relax
No one ever told me I was living too fast

I thought I should tell you (Whoa)
My world is crashing down, again
I'm spinning round calling out "I'm falling down"
I'm spinning round calling out "I'm falling I'm falling"
I don't care, I don't care, what you think of me right now
Cause I'm gonna have a breakdown

You know me all to well but you never had the chance
To find out who I really am, who I really am
You know me all to well but you never had the chance
To find out who I really am, who I really am
I'm spinning round, I'm calling out
I'm gonna have a breakdown

I'm spinning round calling out I'm falling down
I'm spinning round calling out I'm falling I'm falling
I don't care, I don't care, what you think of me right now
Cause I'm gonna have a breakdown


alam mo ba ang laman ng isip ko ngayon?
IKAW. OO IKAW.

WALA AKONG NASULAT DITO KASI NALIPAT KO NA SA TUMBLR.
MASAYA TONG ARAW NA TO, AT IPAPANGAKO KO SA SARILI KONG MANGYAYARI ANG PINAPANGARAP KO.

MASAYA AKO. MASAYANG-MASAYA AKO.
READY TO PLASTER MY BIGGEST SMILE.

NOW PLAYING:
DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY - ALLISON IRAHETA FT. ORIANTHI.

this is war.

you know, ganito ako lagi. walang definite decision. walang maayos na pagkakaabalahan.

at minsan, nawawalan na ng pakiramdam.

kung maaari nga lang akong mawalan ng pakealam, matagal ko nang ginawan ng paraan..

NOW PLAYING..
Syndicate, The Fray.

"we are closer.."

grabe, walang pagsidlan.

yung tipong.. 'nagtago lang naman ako kaya hindi nila ako nakita. oh well, ano nga ba namang silbi? may pagkakataon pa bang nakalaan sa kin? o makikilala ko kaya sila? e di ba, yung TAONG YUN NA MISMO yung hindi na nakakakilala? di ba? remember last July 10? *o di ba tanda ko pa.. TINIGNAN NYA LANG AKO. as in.'

august 16 2010, about 2.00 Pm.

I was like, badtrip po ako kasi I ended up doing nothing. pero lucky day naman kasi napasaya ako ng isang tama ng green mango sa esem perbyu. mmmmmmmmmmmmm..

pero mukhang magaling talagang maglaro si tinatawag na tadhana.

alam mo yung feeling na nagmamadali na ako umuwe kase alas-dos na at umabot ako sa quota ni ama dahil may pinakuha sa akin si mama sa avon tapos pinatawag pa ako sa bahay just to verify her purchases?
tapos.. tapos..
may nakita akong nag.lalakad.
sino?
si pers lab lang naman at yung gelpren nya.
*ok, maganda sya. and my first time to see her, actually.
HINDI KO HINILING YUN. BIGLA NA LANG SYANG NANGYARE.
O BAKA NATUPAD LANG ANG PANGARAP KONG PALAYAIN ANG TAONG HINDI MINSANG NAGING AKIN.

grabe, dun pa sila sa sakayan. buti na lang nauna traysikel ko.

yun lang. I assumed my eyes would produce tears like rain, yet it didn't happen.
"o bakit hindi ka pumatak?."
"wala namang dapat iiyak, di ba?"


BOOYEAH! nakikipag-usap ako sa mata ko. naku, malala na tong psycho prob ko.
hahaha!
and this IS MY MOST REWARDING BLOG ENTRY. EVER.
history!

wala akong magawa.

wala talaga, eh.
magpapakaligaya na lang siguro ako. para mapatunayan ko sa sarili ko na ok na ako.

ang number 14.

ikaw-14 ng agosto, taong kasalukuyan. isa sa pinakanakaka-bwiset na petsa ng buhay ko. bakit? kasi ayoko ng number 14.


basta ayoko talaga. ayoko, ayoko, ayoko.
sawa na akong magdalamhati sa araw na yan. sawa na akong manahimik at palagi na lang mag-isip ng mga failures na nagawa ko.

at ang number 14 ay laging nasa kalendaryo, diba?
kaya 12 beses din ako nagi-emo sa bawat taon.