Saturday, October 31, 2009

why do I?

miss ko na ang lahat ng bumubuo sa eksistens ko.

ang institusyong magiging pangalawang bahay ko..

-ang sakayan ng jeep ng philcoa sa bayan..
-ang don fabian
-ang mga jeepney driver na nuknukan ng bingi pag ako na yung pumapara..

-ang mga OBs namin na parang kabarkada lang..
-mga propesor na nagmulat sa kamalayan namin..

ang BBTE 1-1
ang mga taong bumubuo sa mundong sila rin ang lumikha para magkaroon ako nun..

at ang panibago kong inspirasyon..
na patuloy akong nagtatanong...

nakaraan?
pake ko sa yo..
nagbago na ang lahat..

sana lang wag na kitang makita..
kahit na kailan..

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

hoo..

walang kwenta..

tahimik nga..
tahimik sabi eh..

grabe hawak na naman nila ang leeg ko..
langya naman o..

cry freedom..
wala pa rin..
sus may nakakarinig ba?

ayun..

ang boring talaga..
tulog na lang kaya ako ulit?
kakatulog ko lang baka ma-over sleep..

wah pootek naman..

wala talaga akong magawa..
mas gusto ko pang tumambay sa eskwelahan kesa manahimik dito sa bahay namEnnnnnnnnnnn..

ano na??
wala talaga akong magawa ngayong araw..
dumidilim na..

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

too many walls.........

have been building between us...
wahaha..

walls daw oh.
sa fb lang naman meron nun ah..
wall.....
wall to wall..

Monday, October 26, 2009

my japanese name...

My name, janina asuncion, translated into Japanese is: Janaina Azanshon (see the pronounciation guide).
Get your own Japanese name translation at Keiichi Anime Forever!

-teneng..I just simplyyyyyyyy loveeeeeeeeeee it..!!!!!!

adik sa yo..

karamihan ng mga dvd dito sa bahay anime.....

-fushigi yuugi..
(series at ova kumpleto kame)
-vampire knight..
(shocks tagal kong pinangarap..may guilty na ako)
-xxx holic..
(part 1 lang meron ako eh..hindi ko pa sya masyado feel..)
-special A..
(go takishima kei)
-la corda de oro
(sus I prefer violinist)
-melancholy of haruhi suzumiya
(next time ko na lang papanoorin)

at marami pang iba..
those are my favorites kasi..

soon to buy..

-bokura ga ita
-nodame cantabile paris edition
-deathnote, deathnote
-TORADORA....!!!!!!!!!!!!!humanda ka pag mayaman na ako ulet..

kasi naman no mas gusto ko si kaname kuran kaysa kay takasu noh..
haha..

ah basta..
got to buy soon......

jealousy ride with me part two!

ginagawa ko naman lahat ng paraan..
isn't that enough?

that one gloomy friday..
ayun..

ginagawa ko naman ang lahat para mapasaya ko ang lahat ng tao..
pero parang wala pa ring nakakakita..

I want him..
or I love him, I should say..

ayoko pang aminin sa sarili ko..
natatakot akong maulit ulit yun..

masama ba akong magselos pag nakikita ko silang magkasama?
(ei bon ako ang iyong konsensya..
wala pa kayong koneksyon kaya wala kang karapatan)
-->di wala..






back to the ballgame..
ganito kasi yun..
nagtataka kasi ako sa sarili ko
bakit hanggang ngayon WALA PA RING PROGRESS???
(I mean, we're still "pasulyap-sulyap stage")

yung feeling ko honestly naggu-grow na..
pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin sya kilala..
nagkakasya na ako sa mga kwento ng ex nya..
thankful na rin ako kasi may daily updates ako bout him..

ayun..
sanay na ko sa daily updates from them..

hanggang dun na lang ako..

=<<<<<<<<<

boring day..

really it is..

nood..
tulog..
kain..
magbasa ng libro..
mag-isip..
mag-emote..


ulit..

nood
tulog.
kain
magbasa ng libro..
mag-isip
mag-emote..

sarapppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!

boring naman..

kakasira kaya ng utak yung paulit-ulit..


tapos nakatingin pa sa yo ang nanay mo habang OL ka..
(kala ko nanonood ng kaya kong abutin ang langit)


ang bagal pa ng internet.
ayaw makisama pootek..


tapos pumapasok na naman ang delusyon ko..
nami-miss ko na lahat ng mga kaklase ko..
as in lahat..

Sunday, October 25, 2009

tama na nga..

sus..
looking back from the past..

pasimple ko syang tinitignan kahapon..
hehe..
honestly I miss him..
like hell..
the friendship..
yung jamming times..

yung incomparable open forum sessions..

ayun.
nasira lang dahil sa love love na yan..

tapos eto ako..
naghihinayang..
an I worth of that regret??
ako ba ang may kasalanan kung bakit nasira??

para tuloy akong bubug na naghahanap ng mighty bond..

pero walang lumalapit na pandikit kahit isa..

one cold sunday afternoon..

ayun..
it was one cold day..
pano..

masaya nga..
incomplete naman..
wala yung taong nagpapaligaya sa akin ngayon..
sayang naman..
kala ko kasi kahapon din sila manonood no..
yun pala hindi..

hayst..
sayang.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

wapak!!

ay naku enough na nga..
out muna ako..
madami pa akong gagawin..
aalis pa ako mamayang 1
magpapaligaw pa ako sa lagro..
(sana naman hindi ako maligaw)
sana makita ko sya..
sus.
si present ha..
hindi si past..
pilit kong dinidiin sa utak ko na wala na..
hindi pala ganun kadali yun.

homepage

ayun..
may net na kami ulit..
clap clap..
mayday!mayday!

back to normal na naman..

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

shit..

puro reload ng page..
grr..
cut that crap..!

totoo daw ba yun??

pootek..asar na asar na ako..
kanina pa ako ulit ng ulit ng entry ..

Monday, October 19, 2009

mending these wounds that once was tearing my heart..

'dub mode..

"STAY WITH ME!!!!!"

sabay headbang..

at paulit-ulit pa..

astig..

isa pa..

pootek nasarapan..



This bottle is bringing me down
No comfort for me in this town
All the faith in these eyes
Lost the glow and just dies
I pray, redeem this heart
And be here now.

In this war
The tears in my eyes says it all
Put all of my faith in you now
When all of the world says
We wont make it through
We'll battle the world.

I feel so alone
The situation's desperate
Until I've found my life again I drown
So save me now
Breathe new life in me...

I greet the morning sky
The sun dries tears in my eyes
Awaken this sleeping heart of mine
And be here now...

Awaken this heart...


-frailty..


The struggle could be over now this time
The times have changed us
Our silence is deafening

Nothing can make this better
Our answers seldom come
There is death in words you say

Sound the alarm
What we have built is gone
Our battle's just begun
Mayday, mayday

Bring the tears from out of your eyes
Just leave it up to me
Hearts of stone to bring out the cold
It cuts the warmth

It could've been easier now
Our bitter words revealed

Nothing can make this better
Our answers seldom come
There is death in words you say
I'm so sick of you and love

Sound the alarm
What we have built is gone
Our battle's just begun
Mayday, mayday

Mayday, mayday...


-alert the armory..


Hazel eyes
You have awakened me Opened my mind
Never thought love could come
A second time
Been wasting away
Killing myself
Closed all my doors
I wasn't the same anymore
Then you came along
Hazel eyes
Speak to me once more
You're words are a comfort
Discovered again that love could come
A second time
You played your part
Helped me restart
Mended these wounds
That once was tearing my heart
You came along
Under southern lights the mood is right
We move in closer together
Your lips press tight against mine
Stay with me
Under southern lights the mood is right
We move in closer together
Your lips press tight against mine
Stay, Stay, Stay,

You have awakened me Opened my mind
Never thought love could come
A second time
Been wasting away
Killing myself
Closed all my doors
I wasn't the same
You played your part
Helped me restart
Mended these wounds
That once was tearing my heart
Under southern lights the mood is right
We move in closer together
Your lips press tight against mine
Stay with me
Under southern lights the mood is right
We move in closer together
Your lips press tight against mine
Stay, Stay, Stay,

Stay with me
Stay, stay, stay with me
Stay with me


okey..enough for this nonsense..


ching!!!!

Lyrics to The Silence :
Tear in two, she lies awake
The moonlight's soft, the moonlight day
Another night she spends alone
Without his touch her skin's so cold

The blood that's running through her veins
With every beat, there's no escape
Lost in everything she trusts
Still can't seem to get enough

Even though the world she loves
It won't ever be the way it was
And his heart of stone has left hers breaking

Every night she cries
And dies a little more each time
Say you love me
Nothing left inside
Say you love me
And the silence will set her free

Memories, they take her back
Every moment, fades to black
Every kiss and every taste
She wishes time would ease the pain

Even though the world she loves
It won't ever be the way it was
And her heart is weak, her hands are shaking

Every night she cries
And dies a little more each time
Say you love me
Nothing left inside
Say you love me
And the silence will set her free
And every night she cries

I don't know if I'll ever make this right
Cause I am just so broken by the bitterness of loneliness
I'm so scared of this
I don't know if I'll ever make this right
Cause I am just so broken by the bitterness of loneliness
And I'm so scared

Even though the world she loved
It won't ever be the way it was
And his heart of stone has left hers breaking

Every night she cries
And dies a little more each time
Say you love me
(You love me)
Nothing left inside
Say you love me
And the silence will set her free
(Every night she cries)
(Every night she cries)

And the silence will set her free



the silence, mayday parade..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

silence silence silence

badly needed..
please come.
now.

hay naku naman tong araw kahapon..
palamigan kung palamigan..

ano ba talaga?
ako ba talagang may sala??

Saturday, October 17, 2009

mahal nya pa rin..

magpapanggap pa..
halatang-halata naman..
dammit..
wag kang playing safe ha..
hindi bagay sayo eh..
lalo na ngayon halatang-halata na..

mahal mo pa siya..
the way you reacted when you're with her..

naku..
ewan ko..
pag nakikita ko kayo..
tumitingin na lang ako sa malayo..
wala naman akong karapatan eh...

may pinagsamahan na kayo..
at pwedeng bumalik yun..
sana kung babalik nga..

wag na sa panahong mahal na talaga kita..
dahil mahihirapan akong pakawalan ka..

(naks.girlfriend??)

and if I die right now you'll never be the same..

lahat ng favorite songs ko lately may mga namamatay..
based on my unii's observation..
tama nga..
ngayon ko lang din napagtanto yun eh..

ewan ko din kung bakit..
as what I've read on a book..
people who love music that give meanings for them tend to mirror their personality..
which is true, I think..

ibig sabihin ba nun I'm dying inside??
nakanaks..
mukha lang akong patay..
mahal ko pa naman buhay ko..
hindi pa tapos ang misyon na binigay ni God para sa kin..

malaki pa ang purpose ko sa mundong to..

wui got one follower.....pers taym to..

salamat nga pala sa kauna-unahan kong follower..
nakakatuwa naman..
wait lang ha..
sinong ella ba to??

mariella tagaca?

o sheela mae socito??


pero thanks a lot pa rin..

at kung kaya ko lang manahimik..

"no comment"

wtf!!

you have to react with it you bullshit..

asar ha..

kungsabagay tapos na yun noh..

I don't have any connections with you..

at alam kong magiging masaya na ako..

kahit alam kong wala ka sa tabi ko..

at ngayon ko na lang napagtanto..

na mas mahal ko sya kesa sa yo..

at sa wakas naayos na din ang lahat..


yes..

I made it...

finally..

thanks God..!!!!!

I'm happy....

really I am..

Friday, October 16, 2009

ayan..

cramming mode..
preamble pa lang nakakabisado ko..


"We, the sovereign Filipino people, imploring the aid of Almighty God, in order to build a just and humane society, and establish a Government that shall embody our ideals and aspirations, promote the common good, conserve and develop our patrimony, ant to secure ourselves and our posterity the blessings of independence and democracy under the rule of law and a regime of truth, freedom, justice, love, equality and peace, do ordain and promulgate this Constitution"

-PREAMBLE, PHILIPPINE CONSTITUTION....

syit naman..

kaya ko to..

go bonbon!!!!!!
you can pass..I believe..
naks lakas ng tiwala sa sarili ah..


hahaha..

please take me anywhere but here!!!!

headbangan na to!!!!!
umagang-umaga eh noh...

oh well..
I'm just happy..
pretending it's nothing..again..

kahit masyado na akong pre-occupied..
hala sige tago na lang....
ganun naman lagi eh..

blooming..and in love..:)


cool..
just got my new haircut..
and I honestly love it..

tawag ko dyan move on haircut..
dahil I'm finally moving on...

bagay naman di ba??
sabi nila kamukha ko na daw si katrina halili..

well..
katawan lang naman meron sya...

ako package na..

hahaha..

ang yabang..

ano hindi na-save???

gawa lang ng gawa..

"and this is where I want to be"

-brick by boring brick, paramore..


aaminin ko nakakatamad ang araw na to..

lalo na ngayon..
mag-isa lang ako..
ang tahimik pa..


so there..
tatahimik na lang ako..
at least may ginagawa no..

I just can't figure out..

di ako makapag-aral..
asar na araw yan oh..

wala ako sa konsentrasyon..


ang ite-test ko lang naman bukas philippine constitution..
with matching preamble..
chorva..
chorva..

at pagkatapos nun mananahimik ako..
memorizing kuno..
at biglang tutulala..

daily habit eh..

ikaw ba naman matulog ng 12 oras??
8 pm to 8 am..
hindi ko nga namalayang dumating yung tatay ko..
gigising ako para kumain..
tutulala..
kakain ulit..
mago-online..

tapos magpapatugtog..
tatahimik..
tatahimik..
makakatulog..
tapos..

ching asa kawalan na naman ang utak ko...



yes..

things are getting colder now..
and I won't give it a damn..

the clock struck twelve..

10.15 tragedy..
huwebes..


wala po akong kasalanan..
at wala po akong ginawa..
kaya hindi po ako dapat akusahan..

(di kaya guilty lang ako??)

kasi ganito yun...........


hapon..
uwian na..
reflection day kaya ako pupunta sa sm..
magre-retreat ako..

sm?bakit nga ba sa sm pa??
kasi sa national bookstore lang naman ako eh..
nagbabasa ng aklat..
sapat na para matuto ang isang katulad kong inosente pa sa daga...

tapos..

aksidente ko syang nakita na pauwi na..
wala akong intensyong sundan sya..

(at, hindi yun nagpupunta ng sm nang mag-isa lang)


tapos..
ayun..

nakasabay ko sya sa manggahan..
iaapproach ko sana kaso may kausap sya kakahiya naman..

oo nga pala bago ko makalimutan..
sino nga ba ako para kausapin nya..
we're not that close nga eh..
no ba yan..

at hindi ko sya sinundan..
feeling naman masyado..

teka why am I reacting this way??
am I guilty?

kasi po pinoprotektahan ko lang ang dignidad ko..
ang lalim impernes..

gusto ko pa lang yung tao ang landi ko na..
ayokong isipin nila na ganun ako..


trivia lang ha..
ni minsan sa buhay ko hindi ko pinangarap maging stalker..
at sa mga nagustuhan ko..wala pa akong sinundan sa kanila...




kaya yun..

kabaliwan syndrome..

as time goes by, I'm getting worst..
literal..
pasama nang pasama..
lalong lumalala..

may dahilan nga ba?
pagkakamali ko ba?

aaminin ko..
ako naman talaga..
maging ang sarili ko hindi ko na kilala..

bigla na lang akong natitigilan..
nananahimik.
minsan luluha na lang..
sa di malamang rason..

ni mga kakilala ko minsan hindi na ako maintindihan..

sintomas ng "unknown syndrome"

-tulala..
(palagi..)
-nananahimik..
(yan madalas kong ginagawa yan..pag minsan hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang sarili ko bakit ako nagkakaganyan)
-maraming tanong
(maging sarili ko nga tinatanong ko na)
-wala sa hulog--->PALAGI
(oo na lang)
-biglang iiyak pag kumakanta..mag-isa..
(ewan ko yung miserable at best ba dedicated kanino?lagi ko
kasing kinakanta yun lately.)
-gusto palagi mag-isa..
(hindi naman ako ganyan dati)

at ang pinakamalupit na sintomas..

KINAKAUSAP ANG SARILI
(all the time..)
sabi ng iba pag matalino daw ang isang tao kinakausap daw ang
sarili..





hindi kaya baliw ako..?
(hindi po!!hindi ako baliw!!!)


hahaha..
sabay iyak..
as time goes by, I'm getting worst..
literal..
pasama nang pasama..
lalong lumalala..

may dahilan nga ba?
pagkakamali ko ba?

aaminin ko..
ako naman talaga..
maging ang sarili ko hindi ko na kilala..

bigla na lang akong natitigilan..
nananahimik.
minsan luluha na lang..
sa di malamang rason..

ni mga kakilala ko minsan hindi na ako maintindihan..

sintomas ng "unknown syndrome"

-tulala..
(palagi..)
-nananahimik..
(yan madalas kong ginagawa yan..pag minsan hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang sarili ko bakit ako nagkakaganyan)
-maraming tanong
(maging sarili ko nga tinatanong ko na)
-wala sa hulog--->PALAGI
(oo na lang)
-biglang iiyak pag kumakanta..mag-isa..
(ewan ko yung miserable at best ba dedicated kanino?lagi ko
kasing kinakanta yun lately.)
-gusto palagi mag-isa..
(hindi naman ako ganyan dati)

at ang pinakamalupit na sintomas..

KINAKAUSAP ANG SARILI
(all the time..)
sabi ng iba pag matalino daw ang isang tao kinakausap daw ang
sarili..





hindi kaya baliw ako..
(hindi po!!hindi ako baliw!!!)


hahaha..
sabay iyak..

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

bagong music..


MusicPlaylistRingtones
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

lss mode..

And we both go down together
we'd stay there forever
just try to get up
and i'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when i asked you, believe me
and never let go
well i'm thinking of the worst things
that i could say to you
but a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore
and this never will be right with me
and now you're trying to desperately
but i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say
and then we both go down together
we may stay there forever
i'll just try to get up
and i'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when i asked you, believe me
you never let go
but i let go
i could only sing you sad songs
and you could sing along
and you could see the melody
that's been calling out your wrongs
and this never will be right with me
and now you're trying to desperately
but i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say
but i never told you everything
i'm losing hope and fading dreams
and every single memory along the way
and then we both go down together
we may stay there forever
i'll just try to get up
and i'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when i asked you, believe me
you never let go
but i let go
and we both go down together
and stay there forever
just try to get up
and then we both go down together
we may stay there forever
i'll just try to get up
and i'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when i asked you, believe me
you never let go
but i let go
[ I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About





Katie don't cry I know
you're trying your hardest
and the hardest part is letting go
of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
but compared to your eyes
nothing shines quite as bright
and when we looked to the sky
it's not mine but i want it
so...

[chorus]
lets not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
you're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room he stares)
I'll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
and ask my girl to dance
she'll say yes
(because these words were never easier for me to say or her to second guess but i guess)
that i can live without but
(without I'll be miserable at best)

you're all that i hoped I'd find
in every single way
and everything i would give
is everything you couldn't take
cause nothing feels like home
you're a thousand miles away
and the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay
cause i know I'm good for something
i just haven't found it yet
and i need it
so...

[chorus]
lets not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
you're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room he stares)
I'll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
and ask my girl to dance
she'll say yes
(because these words were never easier for me to say or her to second guess but i guess)
that i can live without but
(without I'll be miserable at best)

and this will be the first time in a week
that I'll talk to you and i can't speak
it's been 3 whole days since I've had sleep
cause i dream of his lips on your cheek
and i got the point that i should leave you alone
but we both know that I'm not that strong
and i miss the lips that made me fly
so...

[chorus]
lets not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
you're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room he stares)
I'll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
and ask my girl to dance
she'll say yes
(because these words were never easier for me to say or her to second guess but i guess)
that i can live without but
(without I'll be miserable)
and i can live without but
(without I'll be miserable)
and i can live without but
(oh without I'll be miserable at best)
-miserable at best

Three Cheers For Five Years :
I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering
And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to


If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet? :
Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes
I'll write a song about it
And maybe if the melody's just right
I hope tonight it will find you
It will remind you

But what's holding me back is the thought of time we never had
My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say

When you hear this chorus
Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?
Do you hurt the way that I do?
After all this time you leave me broken
This song is every word I left unspoken
When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us
That you think of us

Baby, I told myself that I'll be fine but it's a lie
I don't want to talk about it
Memories, oh they cut like knives
Deep inside I'm falling
Baby, catch me if you can

What's holding me back is the thought of time we never had
My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say

When you hear this chorus
Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?
Do you hurt the way that I do?
After all this time you leave me broken
This song is every word I left unspoken
When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us

When you hear this chorus
Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?
Do you hurt the way that I do?
After all this time you leave me broken
This song is every word I left unspoken
When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us
That you think of us

Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes









-mayday parade mode....

ang daming tanong..


kung natuturuan lang ang mga pangyayari na wag na lang mangyari..
kung marunong lang bang makiayon ang pagkakataon..

paulit-ulit ba akong magtatanong ng bakit sa sarili ko??

magiging ganito ba ako??
matutututo ba ako sa lahat ng pagkakamali ko?


at ako'y nagiging makasarili na naman..


and this time..
if I'm gonna make a right move..
at..

sa tingin ko okey naman..

e pano kung maulit na naman?
ano..
sisisihin ko na naman ba ang sarili ko?
paulit ulit na naman ba akong magtatanong ng bakit?

at pagkatapos,
ano na?
ganun na lang ulit??

ano bang mas maganda?
ipagpatuloy ang nasimulan..
o mas mabuting wag na lang?




may sagot na ako sa tanong ko..
pero hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung sagot nya..
kasi hindi ko pa natatanong sa kanya..
at hindi ko rin alam kung tama ba yung itatanong ko..
kaso baka..
pag nagkamali ako baka sungitan na naman ako..




Tuesday, October 13, 2009

slow..!!!!!!

"kapag nanggaling na sa yo,
wag ka nang mag-aksayang pulutin pa ito.."

-joshua familaran..
galing nitong batang to..galing talaga eh..
bago kong close friend..

laughing stock..
at masasabi kong pinakamatino..
na guy classmate ko sa bbte 1-1..
believe it or not..

at yung quotable quote na yan ha..
ang tagal kong naintindihan.
o siguro ang tagal nag sink in sa utak ko..
dahil tamang-tama sa akin..asar..

yes..
guilty..
ako nga ba ang dapat ma-guilty?


Monday, October 12, 2009

asar..

nawala pa yung isa kong entry..
cute pa naman..

before anything else,

ayun..
congratulate me for having a one great monday..

first time to..
sinimulan ko yung araw ko nang nakangiti..
kinalimutan ko muna yung mga chorva..

at least..
I made myself satisfied..

si miss typo..

ako yun..
believe it..
and I'm gonna give it a damn..
asar..
isang semester na naming pinag-aaralan ang keyboarding parang pasok-labas lang sya sa utak ko..
which was, the worst..
ang sama talaga..

at pakiramdam ko simula nang magkolehiyo ako ganito na ang sistema ko..

pasok-labas..
todo-cramming..
ctrl c ctrl v..
silence.
another silence..
paranoia..


and..
kzzt!!
tulog na ulit..........
at pagkatapos mananaginip..

ganyan lang..
kaligayahan ko na..
wt..

f..


Friday, October 9, 2009

at kung kaya ko lang sana matagal ko nang ginawa..

syet..
birthday nya ngayon..
kaya may special tribute ako for him..

yes..
panext na sya ngayon..
debu nya..
hahaha..



----lahat ng first time masakit..
totoo hindi??


---first experiences from him na mga unforgettable talaga..

-first hug..
-foundation day..2008 ata yun..

-first dance
-2.15.08..(with a guy kaya ikaw ba naman makasayaw mo yung taong matagal mo nang gusto..)

-first kiss??
-sa cheeks lang no..feb 2007 ata yun..
-may license to kiss sya eh..and he drove me crazy that day..

-first serious broken heart
of course who else?
simula nung nag-high school ako saksi ako sa lahat ng babaeng nagustuhan nya..



and of course..
sya ang first love ko..
at proud naman ako..
kasi naman he teached me to..love..
to love not thru his perfection but thru his own self..
pero honestly..

he's perfect for me..
though he didn't even see it..

kasi naman no..
hindi kasi naghintay eh..
o ako lang talaga tong tanga..

kasi alam ko na una pa lang na wala talaga..
nagpipilit lang ako..

damn..


hay naku hindi makamoveon..

bahal na nga sya sa buhay nya..
pootek sya..

maging maligaya lang sya..


sana..
kahit wala ako sa tabi nya..
habang iba ang kapiling nya..

Thursday, October 8, 2009

..kagutom....

missing this gross yet sooper sarap na recipe na pinagmamalaki ko..mahilig ako sa sunog..
at higit sa lahat deboto ako ng matatamis kaya mukha naman sa hitsura nya di ba..

14-inch pizza 475 pesos??hehehe nagpapatawa..
dala yan nila ate nung nanood sila ng sine last saturday..sayang hindi ako nakasama..

-sabi ni ate 475 talaga pang-AB market naman yan hindi pang inosenteng mamamayan katulad ko..
o di ba parang dinaanan ng bagyo......

naku parang may manlilibre sa akin ng ganyan kamahal..
kung meron man pakisamahan na rin ng ice cream na pistachio flavor..
isa pa yun one pint 95 pesos..
ginto........

hay..
buhay..
inspite of problems..
dapat may pleasure pa rin..
ako greatest guilty pleasure ko talaga pagkain..
ng matamis..
matamis......
matamis..



ayan na..
naglalaway na ako..

..mabute naman ako..

and I always will..
syempre..
ayokong may mag-alala..
kahit alam ko namang wala naman talaga..

syet naman no..
idle mode again..
I just wonder bakit kapag OL ako lagi akong idle..
hindi ko talaga alam..
pootek..
hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin kilala ang sarili ko..

Saturday, October 3, 2009

at ako'y nahihirapan na..

Ngayon na ang huling paalam
Sayo aking mahal sa ting nakaraan

Ibibigay sayo ang kailangan mo
Mula ngayon ikay malaya na..malaya na..

Hindi na maibabalik ang
Dating masayang pagsasama
Mahirap nang pilitin pa
Ngayon ikay handa ko nang palayain

Tangi kong dasal
Ang ikay lumigaya sa piling nya
Di ako hahadlang
Sa inyong pagmamahalan

Di umimik,
Dumadaing ng palihim.
Mahal pa rin kita
Hindi mo ba nadidinig
Ang puso kong naninimdim
O giliw ko, akoy para lang sa iyo

Unti unti ko nang
Nalilimutan ang ating
Makulay na nakaraan
Ang aking tanging bilin sayo
Alalahanin mong ikaw at ako

Ngayon na ang huling paalam
Sayo aking mahal sating nakaraan...

Tangi kong dasal
Ang ikay lumigaya
Sa piling nya
Di ako hahadlang
Sa inyong pagmamahalan

O paalam na sa ting dal'wa,
Ang iyong huling ngiti
Ang nasa aking alaala..alaala



-sa piling nya, paramita..

the song keeps on playing in my head..
ewan ko kung bakit..
remembering............

honestly nami-miss ko pa rin sya..
pero siguro dahil may pinagsamahan din kami..





9.12.05.
-he's the guy I've love for four years..
di ko alam kung sya pa rin..

may nagmamay-ari na sa kanya ngayon..
eeksena pa ba ako??
isa pa..
mukha naman syang maligaya..
sa piling nya..

at sana nga wala akong pagsisisihan sa nagawa kong desisyon..

kungsabagay what should I regret for?

e di ba una pa lang alam na talagang wala?

mapilit kasi..
yan tuloy napala..


kung mamahalin ko pa rin sya..
sarili ko na lang nag nililinlang ko..
ang palagi kong ginagawa—ang magpanggap na masaya pa rin kahit hindi na..

Friday, October 2, 2009

at eto na naman ako..

addicted to quizzes again..
naku patay kang butete ka naman..
pag nagtuluy-tuloy na naman to.,.

ako na talaga magbabayad ng net namin sa susunod na buwan..

parang syabu..
hirap iwasan..

ang internet talaga panira ng buhay..!!!!!!!

psychotic bonbon..




You Are 50% Weird



Normal enough to know that you're weird...

But too damn weird to do anything about it!




•••••kala ko 100%..hehehe


adik na ako sa mga quizzes ng blogthings ha..it helps me to know myself more..




Your Inner Child Is Naughty



Like a child, you tend to discount social rules.

It's just too much fun to break the rules!

You love trouble - and it seems that trouble loves you.

And no matter what, you refuse to grow up!




oh well I knew it..




People Envy Your Generosity



You're a giving soul, and you'd do almost anything for those you love. And they'd do anything for you!

People may envy how giving you are, but more than anything, they envy those you open your heart to.




nasobrahan na nga sa pagiging generous, eh..




You Are Midnight



You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.

Whether you're a night owl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.

Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.

You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.




obvious ba sa gabi ako laging gising..




You Are 75% Impulsive



You are impulsive, which at times leads to irresponsibility.

It's hard for you to say no to all but the most insane propositions.

But you could care less. For you, there's no other choice but to live on the edge.

While your impulsive ways have gotten you in a little trouble - they've made for a very exciting life!




as i say..totoo yan..




You Are 88% Intuitive



Your intuition is so spot on it's scary!

You can learn a lot about people and situations, simply by listening to your gut.

And you've even wondered if you can predict the future at times.

Just be sure not to always listen to your intuition... someday it could be wrong!




-ewan ko pero minsan kasi nagkakatotoo lahat eh..





You Are the Ego



You take a balanced approach to your life.

You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones.

But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does.

You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.




weh..

education mode..go ma'am.




Your Scholastic Strength Is Inspiring Others



You are great at developing a vision, and getting others to adopt your way of thinking.

You are talented at leading, balancing tasks, and helping people work together.



You should major in:



Counseling

Environmental studies

Law

Social work

Political science

Nursing




•••••oh well..may napupulot pala sa pinagsasabi ko..

random quizzes I've taken..lang magawa eh..




You Are 60% Paranoid Schizophrenic



It's likely that you're perfectly fine, though you have some crazy moments.

You tend to be a bit paranoid. Remember, no one's out to get you... except yourself.








You Are Spirited and Spontaneous



You are an energetic, passionate person. You are quite impulsive, and your passions tend to change with the wind.

You are lively and fun. You like to stay busy with your various adventures.



You are a wanderer and a traveler. You're curious about the world, and it's hard for you to stay still for too long.

You get bored easily and tend to shirk on your responsibilities. You don't want to grow up yet!


next love daw oh..

sino naman yung napakamalas na nilalang na iyon??

sabi sa facebook ko si SHINJI TANAKA daw..
kakahiya naman..
naku puberty girl lang po ako..

madami pa po akong magiging pangarap na nais marating..

magiging guro pa ako..


naks..
haha..

ganda!!! hehehe

namake-over ko na rin sa wakas to..
yes..
congratulate me in this uber-effort I gave..
kakapili ng matinong picture..

so there..
pwede na to..

wag na..!wala ka nang babalikan..

kapag..

nalinawan..
natigilan..
napag-isipan..
napagdesisyunan..

ang mga bagay na kapag hindi pinahalagahan at nawala na sa yo..

here comes the realization point..

and the deafening silence..



kaya dapat kapag nandyan na ang bagay na mismong lumalapit sa yo kung ayaw mo sabihin mo na kaagad..

pangit ang pinapatagal. pinapaasa mo pa wala rin palang aasahan sa yo..
nasaktan mo na pinaasa mo pa..

at sana kapag sinabi mo yun sa kanya just assure that wala kang pagsisihan..
dahil kung ikaw ang tipo ng taong magaling magsisi ..

naku..
hindi ka lang manhid tanga ka pa..



totoo di ba?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

ang dame............................

ang daming if onlys..
ang daming regrets..

ang daming "sana lang kung"..
(tinagalog??)

kung una pa lang ba napagplanuhan yan hindi to mangyayari??

kabobohan..

tadhana na yan, eh..
nakaguhit na yan..
ang tangi mo na lang magagawa..
ay tanggapin..
kahit ayaw mo pa..


kinakausap ko na naman ang sarili ko..


(-..-)